It has come to my attention that elsewhere in the world there is a quaint custom called an "election." Such elections are held periodically. Here in Caledon, of course, we have the Guv, and the Guv has assistance in the form of the Vicereine and various Estate Managers. Thus, we have the benefits of a benevolent dictatorship, and no need for a periodic frenzy.
Still, I see various signs that suggest some residents - generally not Caledonians, thank goodness! - take an unhealthy interest in what goes on in Other Places. For some reason, one Other Place with an unusually high level of interest is that where my typist resides. When I see such "team spirit" - I can only compare it to the wearing of one's team colors - I am unsettled and more than a little annoyed. My typist sees enough team colors; I have no need to do so. Show me faeries, nekos, pirates, and vampires. Show me areas of combat and areas of great beauty. Do not proselytize for your team. Do not, for the love of God, explain to me the finer points of your man's tax policy. My typist works in that great cesspool known as the District of Columbia and may or may not care. I most certainly do not.
Indeed, if the Guv were foolish enough to insist on an election, and even more foolish not to run, my preferred candidate is shown below:
Thank you for your attention.