Sunday, June 22, 2008

Held Over a Barrel, or, Wandering Under One

I have noticed that Caledon (and, indeed, other lands in this part of the world) are subject to unpredictable Evil Forces. Some mysterious, sadistic powers, taking pleasure in the havoc created, periodically infest our world, causing all to go black for a time (the evil Lord Login Failure), causing random possessions to disappear (the malevolent Lord Asset Server), limiting movement across the land (the diabolical Lord In-World Services Failure), or slowing down our movements as though we are walking through a transparent but viscous substance (the foul Lord Lag).

An occasional manifestation of said infestations is that one cannot change clothing. Naturally, one discovers this in dishabille, when it is too late simply to bite the bullet and soldier on in the same old rags previously worn, however inappropriate for the occasion. No, one finds out when one is no longer in any condition to leave the house.

This happened to me the other day. No article of clothing was permitted to stay on my being. I asked my fellow citizens whether Lord Asset Server had been sighted. As it turned out, the problem was related to the mighty Emperor of the Aether, His Royal Malevolence Verizon Communications, although I did not know this at the time.

Undaunted, Caledon rose to the occasion once again. Mr. Denver Hax kindly sent me Emergency Clothing, which you, Gentle Reader, can see below. Many thanks, Mr. Hax! I was still debating whether I could venture into the street wearing this outfit when HRM Verizon blasted me into the aether altogether – though, fortunately, not in my all-together.

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