Would You Buy a Used Survey from This Man?

“Don’t worry,” they said. “Trust us, it’s safe,” they advised. “Never mind waiting for that detailed geological assessment,” they proclaimed, “we’ve got a 24-hour turnaround from a survey firm who first asked us what the answer should be. Party on, Garth!” (Pardon the anachronistic reference.)

Yesterday, Caledon celebrated the declaration that the Saint Kitt Islands were volcanically inactive – yes, it doesn’t take much to generate a celebration around here – with an old-fashioned beach party. Sadly, the celebration turned out to be premature as the volcano erupted with sufficient force to nearly level the islands. Compare the “before” and “after” pictures. Before and After:

Quite a difference, eh?

Fortunately, according to early reports, there was no loss of life, thanks to the preparation of the Middlesea Fleet. Three cheers to Captain O’Toole and his sailors! (Even more fortunately for me, commitments kept me away from the beach – otherwise, I would have been strutting in my tankini, working on my third or fourth mai tai, as the explosion occurred. And I’m pretty slow on my feet even during the best of times. I can just see it now: everyone else gets out fine, and poor Rhianon gets nailed by a chunk of molten rock.)

Hey folks, I hate to say I told you so, but, well, I told you so (item 3), as did others .

Sadly, even though the revelers came through without loss of life, the destruction of Saint Kitt yielded a tragedy among the rescue fleet, but that is a story for another day.

Edit 8/20: Mr. Woodget has informed the Caledon Forums that, alas there was one casualty on the island itself: Mr. Jayleden Miles is missing and presumed perished. A party, er, memorial service will be held Thursday, unless the search party finds Mr. Miles alive and well, finishing off a cask of rum by himself in some cubbyhole protected from the destruction.