Sunday, April 5, 2009

Because a Girl Can Never be Too Secure...

Firmly believing that an Armed Society is a Polite Society, I was delighted to read Miss Ordinal Malaprop's press release regarding her two new firearms: the Artemis Shotgun, a thirteen-shot behemoth with an easy-to-reload disk of ammunition, just the perfect sort of thing to have had on Mondserrat a few months back; and the Kolibri 2.7mm Automatic Pistol.

I opted for the latter only because I often find myself in places where wearing a holster would be considered uncooth, or would not accessorize well with a particular outfit. And yet, on those occasions, I feel a little...undressed, for want of a better term. What if mayhem ensues? What if a gentleman gets fresh? One needs to be prepared.

Hence this handy little pistol. Five shots, fast reloading, and can be stored upon one's person almost anywhere - including one's decolletage, or one's handbag. I need never go unarmed again!

It's always useful to become accustomed to a new weapon by testing it on empty bottles. Sorry if any of Miss Malaprop's neighbors were annoyed by the sound of breaking glass.

Oh yes, this shall do nicely.

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