Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Future's So Bright I've Got to Wear Shades

How do I get myself into these things? I wondered. Somewhere I had heard that Heaven 4D Ultra Dome (what a name!) was a town worth visiting. Whenever someone tells me that, I have to consider the source. Is it someone who wants me to experience something wonderful, or someone who is trying to get me killed? I couldn't remember where I had received the tip, so I strapped on a pair of firearms and set forth.

This is supposed to be the future? All I can say is that the future will be garish. Lights everywhere, flashing, beaming, lasing in one giant epilepsy-inducing mash.

I sought refuge in a small bar. Even there, the effort at sensory overload was largely successful.

As mysterious as the flash was, more mysterious was this field, tucked down a corridor and behind a set of doors. It was a delicious refuge from the lights.

I wandered into a strip club, whereupon my fully-clothed self worked the stage to an empty room. The tip jar stayed empty, too.

At last, solitude: high above the garish lights, far from the madding crowd. And then...a ball of fire erupted from just behind me!

Thank you, but no, if this is the future, let me stay in the 19th century.

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